self-discoveries and benefits of participating in the "DESTENI I PROCESS" and "STRUCTURAL RESONANCE ALIGNMENT COURSE"

I have a friend that wanted to be always right. And this was pissing me off. And was annoying me even more when I noticed that he does is doing the same things to me or other people and doesn’t see it at all.
And I wanted to prove to him that this in not always so as he says. So I was observing him because I wanted to point out to him later exactly the situations where he is not right.

Last week we decided to go for a dinner to the restaurant. He was supposed to come within 20 min after the phone call. I got there first and I was waiting for him. I was waiting and waiting. I was becoming irritated because he was saying already few times that he is always punctual. And I remember that when I was coming late in the past, he was getting pissed off with me. But I thought.. “maybe something happened with his car or something else urgent”. So I was waiting more. After about 40 min I called him to ask what is happening. He told me that this is my fault because I was supposed to call him when I get there. I knew definitely that I said something different. I knew that I was right here.
I was trying to explain that I said something different. But no matter what I was explaining, he was saying that this is my fault because I was supposed sms him when I get there. And I knew that I didn’t say anything about sms. I didn’t want to continue on the phone this discussion that I am right.

I suggested that we can meet in another restaurant. And I went to my car. I was pissed off that he blames me. I was trying to calm down. I thought “…ok… there was misunderstanding.. it happens sometimes…”. But anyway, I was frustrated.
I thought.. “I have just proven that my friend is making the same mistakes as I do. And I try to point it out to him right on the spot when it happens. But even then he doesn’t see it. And on top of it, he is blaming me for it. This is ridiculous, unbelievable”.

When I was driving the car I reminded myself the words of Esteni from one of her videos. There was something about self creating those kinds of situations as a reflection of what is inside of us.
And I started to ask myself question… “what does it all tell me?… what does this situation tell me? …. What am I creating here?”.
Then I looked at the polarities of right and wrong. And I noticed that I wanted to be right. But when I want to be right, I am creating at the same time polarity of being wrong. Somebody needs to be somewhere wrong.
And then I understood that I am responsible of creating the situation where my friend was coming late, blaming and me getting pissed off about it. And all of this was just to show me, how I am creating polarities of right and wrong.
After understanding it, I started to apply self forgiveness aloud
I forgive myself that I wanted to be right.
I forgive myself that I wanted to prove that I am right.
I forgive myself that I wanted to prove that my friend is wrong
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that when I create polarity of being right, I am at the same time responsible for creating its opposite of being wrong.

I was trying to calm down and step back from the position / polarity of being right. And I continued doing my self forgiveness. But it was not coming so easy. I had thoughts running in my mind.
I have just proven that my friend is making the same mistakes as I do. I had a rush inside. And I had emotions and desire to go to my friend and tell him that he is wrong. I wanted to say: …“you blame me that I don’t respect you when I come late… but look… you are doing the same to me. And you don’t even see it. And you blame me, and you are getting pissed off with me when I do it to you… etc etc etc.

I didn’t want to give up so easy my right to be right.

I continued with self forgiveness, breathing and slowing my mind.
And eventually I did. I went to see my friend later without the need to prove the he is wrong.
It was all very interesting experience to see how I function as a creator of polarities. And it was very interesting to understand, that it is not easy to see it, when it happens in our life. And it is interesting to see, that it is not always so easy to stop it right on the spot.

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Slowly but steady I go forward and push myself through the resistance. It is easier now. I don´t find excuses any more to do it later. I make it my priority and I do it as much as I can. I see that there is a lot of work ahead. But this doesn´t scare me. I know it needs to be done. Nobody else will do it for me. And even if somebody did it for me, it would never be the same.

And so I go forward... step by step.... it seems to be slow... but it is steady...

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